~ Dragon River flows day and night ~
~ running through mountains by its banks ~
~ let's sing a song of true love ~
~ of Shaolin boys and Phoenix girls ~
~ Phoenix family inherits Wudang Sword ~
~ KIDS FROM SHAOLIN ~
~ Dragon family is No. 1 in Shaolin Kungfu ~
~ Shaolin and Wudang have been rivals ~
~ for a very long time ~
~ Wudang family has 8 phoenixes (girls) ~
~ Shaolin family has 10 dragons (boys) ~
~ Aaaaah..."Watch this Phoenix" ~
~ Yet Wudang needs a dragon ~
~ to inherit Wudang Sword skill ~
~ The advent of Spring brings new lives ~
~ Phoenix mother is expecting a baby ~
~ Let's pray to the Gods in Heaven ~
~ to bless the Phoenix family with a dragon ~
~ A real...real...dragon boy! ~
Well!
- Congratulations, Master! - Thank you.
Ah Bao...
Ma gave birth again! Heeey!
Ma gave birth again...!
Heeey!
Ma gave birth again...!
Heeeey!
- Hey! What did she have this time? - Big Sis, Ma...
- Hey, is it a boy or a girl? - Big Sis...
- Let's find out. - Okay.
Big Sis, Ma gave birth!
- What did she have? - What did she have?
- Ma... Ma.. - Stop gasping.
- Is it a boy or girl? - It's another phoenix.
- She can play with us! - It's a girl!
Ma had a girl!
Your mum failed again. My dad...ai-ay, oh!
It's not his business!
San Feng, stop! You've gone too far!
Dad said to ignore the Shaolin boys.
So complain to him!
- You act like a dragon. - Tomboy!
Aiy...pull, pull! Harder...
Shaolin can't lose to Wudang!
- Come on! Your master isn't afraid. - Heh, heh.. - Call yourself our master?!
Too bad you lack our little thing...
- Dad said not to fight girls. - We can't lose to Wudang.
- Yeah, c'mon, brothers! - Beat them, sister!
Beat them, sister...!
Brother San Long is here!
Let's help San Long!
- What's that fighting style? - "Shaolin mocks Wudang".
Sister...careful!
- Hey, good! - Don't flatter me.
Hurry and help!
Harder.
It's not "Shaolin mocks Wudang".
It's "Monkey falling out of a tree".
~ Fun, fun, fun! Dragons are having fun! ~
~ flying high, up in the sky ~
~ it looks and talks like a dragon ~
~ but it's not ~
- What is it? - Well, it's a phoenix!~
~ It's a phoenix! ~
~ by the river, a little phoenix cries ~
~ a little phoenix cries! ~
~ seeing chances flying by ~
- Are they singing about you? - Don't listen!
~ poor little thing, you make me laugh ~
~ aiy..aiy..aiy... ~
~ poor little thing! ~
- I'm sure they're singing about you... - Don't sing!
Give Mrs Bao this ginseng tomorrow to pay our respects.
- She birthed a girl and we... - Hey. She needs strength.
We need 10 cows for one of Bao Shen Feng's girls.
In 10 years, we saved enough for 3 cows.
It's impossible!
If we work hard, we'll succeed.
Look, in 6 months we saved a leg's worth.
Even when we get 10 cows,
how long do I wait to get 10?
- Don't worry, you'll marry Yi Feng! - You...! How will I?
Silly! That's not a cow.
- What did you do? - Ow! Huh?
- I gave it 4 legs. - What do you know?
- What's wrong? - Hurts, hurts! - Come.
- Let's see... - Your bum's funny!
- You've got no sympathy. - A cow has 4 legs!
- There. - It's a tail!
- Practise your kungfu! - Hey, go.
"Student of Goddess of Mercy"
"Buddhas on poles"
"Hovering on clouds"
"Flying over heaven"
"Beauty and mirror"
- Beauty. - Stop!
- What's that? - "Beauty and mirror".
Mirror? What mirror?
You never learn!
"By the river, a poor phoenix cries..."
What's wrong with girls? Our family needs a phoenix.
I need a dragon heir, but Ma failed again.
Always a phoenix, always girls!
- You can't blame Ma! - Hm?
Dad, I'm as good as a dragon in Wudang sword style.
Listen. 18 years ago, when you were inside your Ma,
- I called you "Little Dragon" but... - But what, Dad?
You're just a girl. You'll fly off.
No way. I'm a dragon. I won't marry.
Half dragon, half phoenix... Who'd want you?
- You... - Fly where you want
but never to the Long family!
They want marriage to steal Wudang style.
Shaolin kungfu is bullshit!
Wudang sword is unique!
Practise sword skills. Shaolin kungfu is forbidden!
Carry on!
No food for the lazy!
- I'd rather not eat! - Carry on!
- He's a bastard! - Who is?
- I saw you cursing too! - Don't deny it!
- I won't deny it. - That's good!
A real man speaks his mind.
- What, here? - No...
1, 2, 3. Dad's a bastard!
Good. Come here.
- Curse again. - 1, 2, 3. Dad's a bastard!
Dad's coming!
You're tired out. Sleep.
Dad!
Dad...!
- What's wrong? - Dad, sorry.
- We cursed at you. - Cursed at me?
What curse? What'd you say?
We'll only tell you if you don't get mad.
Go on, curse nice and loud.
- We'll join in. - Yeah. 1, 2, 3...
- Dad's a bastard! - Louder...
Dad's a bastard!
- Dad, you agreed not to get mad. - Dad...
- Dad? I'm not your real dad. - You are our real dad!
If your real dads had known kungfu...
your families wouldn't have perished.
10 years ago, a gang of bandits went on a rampage in your village.
My brother, Yi Long, and I were heading home.
We immediately gave aid.
- Let me help. - Hero.
Save me!
- Brother, are you okay? - I'm fine! Get in!
Kill them!
We must save the children!
Yi Long, hurry! Come on!
Go!
- Big Bro! - Hurry after them.
Kill them!
I wounded him in one eye and got away. Those bastards.
I raised you for 10 years. It hasn't been easy.
- Do we call you Master or Dad? - Dad, of course!
Dad, of course!
Dad, please sit.
Our Dad, accept our bows.
You raised us. You're our real dad.
You taught us kungfu. You're a great, great...
- A great father. - A great father. We're grateful.
Finw. Good boys, my good sons.
Dad!
You're the naughty one!
I'm naughty, so punish me!
- Does it hurt? - No, I'm used to it.
I'm too clumsy for delicate jobs.
You really need a mama.
When can I get revenge for my ruined eye?
Boss, our strength can handle the Shaolin brats.
Yeah!
Boss, Phoenix Village is tasty meat waiting.
Bao Shen Feng's daughters have slim waists and wide hips!
I'm not blind! But can we handle Shaolin and Wudang?
- Boss. - Speak.
Tell us your strategy.
They're longtime rivals, so push them to fight
- to get your revenge. - Go on.
Then we overcome Bao and enjoy his women!
I, Bao Shen Feng, helped the needy.
I ask only for a son.
Despite 9 daughters, I make this request.
Bless me with a son.
I beg you for my ancestors.
Yes. Put faith in Buddha.
Master, do I seem a man unable to have a son?
If you have no son, your feng shui is wrong.
What can I do?
- Bao claims Wudang is best. - Best?! - He never proved it.
- Shaolin teaches sabre, spear, rod and staff. - Right!
Uncle...
- Why not 'father-in-law'? - Which phoenix are you after?
Can he be an uncle, without a son?
- You! - Hold back.
- We have business. - Sure. This way.
A happy land for happy men ...a fertile place.
Masculinity flourishes here.
- You should've had many sons. - Go on.
- Hm? What a pity! - What's up?
- Who are those people? - Brother San Long!
- Turtle! - Egg!
You're calling San Long a turtle egg (bastard)?
- No! He can eat this turtle. - And my bird's egg!
I have little appetite.
- What is it? What do you want? - I want a phoenix.
The masculinity of the 10 dragons on the other river bank
blocks the flow of Ying and Yang.
That's why you've been unable to have sons.
Master, I'll do anything to be blessed with a son.
The problem is Shaolin.
If you want a son, you must get rid of them.
If Tai Feng was our mama,
Dad will be happy, and we'd learn Wudang.
- Right! - No way!
Dad has 3 cows. Bao Shen Feng wants 10!
The tomboy is Bao's pet. Maybe she'd stick up for us.
But we offended her the other day.
- It's your fault! - Me? You were there too!
- I'll go and apologise. - Like that?
- You'll fight again. - Act like a gentleman. - Yeah!
Right. I'll dress up, in Dad's wedding outfit.
Let's go.
- Eh? Why's it so big? - He must've been fat and happy!
Careful! Dad will kill you if you tear it.
There's room for two!
- This is Dad's best outfit. - Too big. - It's awful.
Think you'll impress her?
Don't worry. I'll be elegant.
- Sorry. Miss, how are you? - I'm fine.
No, no good. She hates being a "Miss"!
- Then, Sister Phoenix? - No!
- Brother Dragon? - She's not a dragon.
- Right! Brother Phoenix? - That's it! - Brother Phoenix!
~ Birds are flying in pairs ~
~ Fish are swimming in couples ~
~ Sunset is for young lovers ~
Ta Da! Sorry. Sorry.
Look! It's Uncle.
- If Bao sees Uncle, we're finished. - I thought he scared you?
Always that silly grin. Can you never talk?
For you... for your Ma.
- Oh, no. It's the witch! - Don't say that.
Second Sister. You forgot Dad's words?
- Go home! - Eh? Yi Feng!
No! Keep off!
Can't you scum read?!
NO SHAOLIN BEYOND THIS POINT
- You...you... - Can't speak either?
Damn it!
Your ugly face scares me. Come on!
Uncle, Dad wants you!
- Uncle! - What?
She's not worth it. Come home.
- San Long, it's your turn. - OK, I'll talk.
Brother Phoenix.
- How are you? - What's this ape up to?
I was orphaned when small.
I don't know my dad's name.
- I know you're crazy! - Please, just...
- What do you want? - Brother Phoenix.
We live by the same river. We should've mixed long ago.
We offended you, and want to apologise.
Stop! Go home!
My father says Shaolin are nothing but trouble!
Brother Phoenix, don't mistake me.
Mistake? Go or I'll act!
Brother Phoenix...
Watch out!
Brother Phoenix, I'll explain...
Stay back or I'll kill you.
Please let's talk...
- Be careful! Sister, watch out! - I'll watch out!
- Hey! - Be careful! - Watch out! - Go, go, go!
- San Long, show her our kungfu. - Right!
- Come on! - Okay!
Move it!
What bullshit!
Excellent!
Ooh, Third Sister!
Sister...!
Help. My sister can't swim!
Help sister...
- Put her down here. - Bro Phoenix's not breathing.
- What to do? - What to do? - Kiss of life. - H-how?
Blow. Blow air into her mouth.
Sister, you mustn't die.
Sister, you can't die.
I'm out of breath. You do it.
Hurry! Blow!
Give back sister!
- Hurry, blow...! - Help Sister...
Third Sister...
Sister!
- She's crying... - Women are made of water!
Wudang sword is something!
If she cut higher, you'd lose your manhood.
She spared you.
So she has feelings?
- And a nice mouth. - And strong legs!
If we learn Wudang sword and put it with Shaolin kungfu...
- We'd be invincible! - Uncle's back!
- We have to fix them. - We haven't time!
We said don't fight women! If you love fighting, fight each other!
But we're brothers...
Fight!
No! Hit harder or I'll dob you in to your dad!
- Monkey boy, you asked for it! - Hit hard!
Losers must face Dad!
Uncle, tell them to stop.
- You! - Fight who?
- Me! - You're joking.
Come on!
- Now I'm serious. - Uncle, don't...
Come on!
- Grab that pole! - Very well!
Good!
Stop faking. Get up!
- San Long? - Brother San Long...
- Brother San Long...? - Fine, he's dead.
- Uncle, you're inhuman! - Yes, inhuman!
Wh-what do I do?
He's not breathing. Give him air.
- How? - Blow in his mouth.
- Right, blow! - Hurry, blow!
Kid, you're dead!
Brother San...
- We did it to help you and Dad! - We did it for you!
Fine, we've no chance now.
Uncle. Don't give up.
We'll get wives for you two, and sword style for us all!
Yes, for us all!
Fifth Daughter likes kungfu. We'll teach her.
We'll impress Pao, then suggest Dad's marriage.
Great!
Shaolin and Wudang will begin their martial arts contest.
Good...!
- Loser calls the winner "Master". - Let's see who's best!
- Who challenges me? - What stance is that?
- Water-snake. Use Eel. - No! You need Duck.
Right! Go!
Come on!
You lost. Call me Master!
Teacher.
- Idiot! - It was a poison snake, not a water snake.
They're arguing!!
Don't crow too soon. You're a snake, I'm a cat!
You're a skinny sick cat!
- You have a go! - Fight...
- Me... - Scared! Bow to your Master.
Why be scared? Squeeze him to death! Fight!
Quick! Show your moves.
She's about to wet herself!
- What now? - I'm scared, my gut hurts...
Useless!
I can do that.
I win!
You play dirty!
I just play to win.
- Bow and call him Master! - I haven't lost yet.
Stop!
- What's going on? - Mind your own business! Come on.
What's all this? Go and find out.
- What are they doing? - What a silly way to pee.
- Have you finished? - Soon.
- Have you finished? - Nearly.
I'm here to apologise, not to fight.
Wudang Sword is unique.
If you hadn't spared me, I'd be a eunuch now.
You want to steal Wudang style?
Don't say "steal". I want to learn it.
You defeated me on the bridge.
- This time I'll win. - You think so?
Maybe not! Each style has virtues
and weak points. Combining them can improve them.
Your mumbling makes sense.
- I'll show you my style first. - Okay, go ahead.
Fine.
Watch this!
- What do you think? - Nothing special. Go home!
- Eh... - I didn't kick you in the river.
Get off our land!
- You... - If I see you again, I'll kill you!
San Long... You got tricked.
I'm tricked, but she's hooked. Our kungfu intrigues her.
- Maybe she likes you. - There's hope for Dad's marriage.
- Great! - Who is it? Come out!
- Third Sister. - Why aren't you home?
So we can't learn kungfu, but you can in secret?
- Let's go and tell Dad. C'mon. - Hold it! Wait!
You like that Monkey Boy?
- No, I like Big Head! - I like Tong.
- I like Monkey Boy. - I like Qi Long.
- Fine, you can play with them. - Sister, you're so kind.
Will you tell Dad?
No! Let's have fun with the boys!
Don't you see? I need a son as my Wudang heir.
I've done my best! My womb has never rested.
10 cows for a daughter. You have no cow shed!
- Wife, you tried hard... - Don't touch me!
Think of your daughter.
Why can't Tian Long be a son-in-law?
He's Shaolin, I'm Wudang! I need an heir.
You tried 9 times. How about a last try?
You should be ashamed at your age!
Never mind! It's a sign of health and happiness.
If I agree, can Tai Feng marry?
Of course...but it must be a dragon.
- Ah Bao, feel... - 3 months now?
2 months, so big!
Buddha bless our family.
Buddha bless the Bao's with a dragon.
A dragon for them, a phoenix for us.
- We'll have a mama! - Yeah, at last.
Buddha, bless us.
Congratulations, Madam, it's a girl!
Ma gave birth again!
- Heeey! Ma gave birth again! - What did she have?
Is it boy or girl?
Ma gave birth!
- Hey, a boy or a girl? - Same as usual.
No! It's not the same! It's different.
What's she mean?
- Different in what way? - I'm not sure...
- Does it have a "little bird" like us? - Yes, that's it!
- At last, a dragon! - Come on, tell dad the good news!
- It's a boy! - No, I saw Dad grimace.
No! After you left, Dad's face did this.
Finally, I got a boy!
- Ah Bao, wash the baby girl too. - What? You do it.
I'll dress you up, to thank Buddha.
I interrupted the dragon spirit, and you have a son.
Hey. Sister, look!
Ma, see who's here.
- See, they're happy for us. - So it seems.
Don't trust them. They're after something.
Great!
What's great? Challenge them!
- Are you okay? - I can't last!
Hold on! We can't lose!
- San Feng! - Sister.
Get up! Hurry!
- Sister, I can't. - You make me mad!
Behave...
Get away!
Behave yourself. Let's team up for a good show.
- Dad, he's molesting her. - Don't look.
Bao. How dare they do this!
Yes, stop this immoral display!
Shush. Don't be afraid.
SENG FENG'S A PIG...
...PIG-TAILED FATHER
...OF A GLORIOUS BOY
See. Such nice boys.
- Auntie. - This is for you.
Thank you, Auntie. Dad sends his regards.
Well. Thank you.
- See how considerate they are. - Yes.
Dizzy?
- Sister, I'm fine now. - Challenge!
It's silk pills!
- It's Yi Long's own recipe. - So big! How to swallow it?
Silly lass. Big dose, big effect.
Ma. Tian Long said to rebuild your strength.
He's a good, kind man, unlike your dad.
Ma. Yi Long said they have 4 cows.
- Ask him to speak to Dad. - But Dad...
- Dad wants 10 cows! - When can they marry?
Now Dad has a son, he'll agree. Tell Yi Long to visit.
Quickly! Go. Go fast.
Quickly! Fast.
Go!
Uncle.
- Why are you here? - Tian Long. Welcome.
- We have the cows. - Skinny ones.
Never mind. Come in.
- Tai Feng, Yi Feng, serve tea. - Ma wants you.
Talk with your future father-in-law.
Uncle.
Uncle, it's about Tai Feng and Yi Feng's marriages.
4 skinny cows for my daughters is an unfair deal.
What? You promised if I gave you a dragon...
- It's too cheap. - You...
Mr Bao!
- Mr Mau, good to see you. - I'm here on business. An Au!
- Father-in-law! - Wait! You're not my son-in-law.
Oh, he will be. I have 10 strong cows outside.
Ah...sit, sit...
Mr Mau, TaiFeng and your son make a good couple.
Tai Feng will be my mama. You dare!
I don't! Dad, not her!
An Au is 20 this August, and Tai Feng...
How about Yi Feng? She isn't 20.
- No, no! - You'll steal my girl! - I won't!
- Father-in-law, I want to marry her. - It's me you want?
Ask my friend's permission.
- Mr Bao, that... - Surely he'd fight?
- If you lose, marry him. - Yes, Dad.
I'm fighting a mere girl. I'll let you start.
- Hungry dog eats shit. - I slipped.
- Teacher, what to do? - He can't even help himself.
Thanks for the tip.
An Au!
Again Wudang beats Shaolin. Mr Mau, An Au uses the wrong style.
- No! I'm just not good enough. - Then practise for a decade.
- By then, you'll be too old. - She's no good.
- You want a gentle girl. Come! - Give me the staff. Hah!
- What do you want? - I want her.
- Not you, her! - Yi Long, don't!
You want her hand? Okay!
But we have rules. 10 cows for Tai Feng.
Good kungfu for San Feng. And Yi Feng...
- Anything! - Can you sing?
- Sing...? - She's a song bird.
Her husband must sing well.
- You... - He can't talk or sing!
- You want to put us off? - What if I do?
I'll marry her!
- Come on! - San Long! Hold it! Enough.
Farewell! This way.
Tian Long, Tian Long!
- Master? - Those boys are with your girls.
I'm over here!
"By the riverside lived a goat, an elephant and a monkey"
It's a monkey!
- Here, here. Tie it tightly. - No peeking!
"A blind man and his wife fell into the water"
Go for it! I'll get you!
Hey, got you!
Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding, dong. Dong!
Come on...
Tubby Feng is behind you. Get her.
Come on...
- Got one! - You gotta guess!
- Who's this? - You gotta guess!
- It's Wu Feng. - Wrong! I'm here.
You see!
You were wrong!
Don't hit me like that!
I'll kill you if you cross the river again.
You get a gut ache if you have to practise Wudang
but you let them fondle you!
Bottoms in the air! Quickly!
All these years, I never had to punish you properly.
It's shameful! You little punks never learn.
- Does it hurt? - No.
Dad isn't strong.
- Relax, you won't feel it. - Higher!
Tell them how it feels?
Sore, burning, painful!
Do you deserve it?
- No! - Excuses now!
Dad, they were trying to help you marry Tai Feng.
I know, but you can't force that.
We managed without a mama for 10 years.
All Shaolin masters went without women.
We'll give them up too.
Amituofo (praise Buddha).
No meat or wine for this Buddhist.
A bald head glows in the dark!
No need to wash or comb, easy care!
Monkey head, monkey brains, like a baby's bottom!
He's a bald-headed thief!
"A monk must renounce the world of desire."
- Do you still have desires? - I gave them up...
I won't go bald!
I won't.
- Yi Long! - I'll marry Yi Feng!
You're stupid!
Bao won't allow it, so why be angry?
- Give it up. - I refuse!
- I won't betray my woman, like you! - You... how dare you?!
- Don't be rude to Dad. - We'll beat you!
Don't call me Uncle!
- Dad! - Dad, Uncle is...
He always loses his temper but only runs to the cave.
Uncle...!
Monks have no family. Don't call me Uncle!
He's so stubborn! Why's Yi Feng like him?
You're stubborn yet don't know what to do?
- Meaning what? - Uncle, look!
- What is it? - You tell me.
A circle and a girl.
- What's she doing? - Dancing.
- It's the moon and fairy. - Don't you get it, stupid?
You're the dumbest!
- So I'm stupid. - Yi Feng loves your dumbness!
What next?
- Who is it? - It's me.
- Who are you? - The new maid.
When I practise, no-one may enter. Go!
Yes, master.
- Who is it? - The maid.
You're...
Uncle wants to elope.
Hurry, before it's too late!
Sister! Where are you going so late?
Sister, I beg you, let me go.
No! You're eloping. It's forbidden!
Bao ruined one sister's life. You'll do the same?
Will you obey him and marry someone you don't love?!
Get going, you two!
Sister! Thank you.
The sinners are escaping. Don't let them get away!
Hurry and go!
You used to have a mean look
but tonight you look lovely.
- Don't flatter me. - Hurry! - There they are!
- Go now! - We two love our families.
- We'll share this fate. - Share it? You with me? No way!
- Go now! You got me in trouble. - I'll repay you one day.
- Hurry...! - Hold it...!
- You! See what you did! - We must punish her. - Yes!
Brother San Long! See!
- Hurry, move along. - Quickly!
- She isn't a woman made of water. - What's she made of?
- Spirit. - Yes. - That's true.
Righteous spirit.
Kneel!
You're village leader. Your daughter acted immorally.
Punish her by our customs.
I am righteous. I submit to village law.
Fine. She let the sinners flee.
The penalty is drowning.
San Feng, my daughter!
Give me back my daughter! My very own daughter.
It's the law. If she's alive after the incense burns down,
she'll go free. Proceed!
- Begin! - It's time!
Bao Shen Feng's inhuman!
San Feng is innocent!
This is inhuman!
FREE SAN FENG
Bao's inhuman!
He has no feelings!
San Feng is innocent!
- You came! Kid, you want to die?! - Let her go! I'm responsible.
Because of you, Yi Feng left and San Feng is lying here!
- Why did you come? - We'll share the same fate.
Fine. Get your wish.
We're ready.
See you.
- I'll see you in the Sea Palace. - San Long!
San Feng is innocent!
- This is inhuman! - This is unfeeling!
Bring him up!
- My daughter! - Third sister!
Wait! Tie it...
My daughter, San Feng!
- Third sister... - San Feng! San Feng!
Come help, girls!
- Bao isn't human. - San Feng is innocent!
- San Feng! You can't die! - Sister!
- San Feng...! - Sister...
San Feng! San Feng's dead!
Save my child, save her!
- Third Bro. Dad's here. - Dad.
Chicken soup with ginseng is a tonic for women.
You don't mind I saved San Feng?
Don't you drink this. It's too strong for men.
We know, Dad.
Chicken soup with ginseng. Drink it hot.
You try some.
No. Dad says it's good for women, but too strong for men.
- Thanks for my life. - I said we'd share the same fate.
I believed my dad's words that you were bad people.
- I was against you. - But not now?
You don't look like a bad guy.
- I cheated at kungfu. - I planned to teach you.
But I teased you and threw you in the river.
I slashed your trousers.
- You want to learn Wudang sword? - Show me now.
So you planned this too.
San Feng is alive! San Long hid her in a cave.
Fine!
Little Dragon...
- Alright. You seduced my daughter. - I just saved her life!
- Little Dragon, come with me! - No. I can't let him harm you.
Nonsense! She's my daughter! It's not your business.
- A monster doesn't deserve children. - Damn you!
- Who taught you my style? - Dad, it was me.
You gave away our sword skill. Shameless! Come home.
Here I come!
- Don't go, he'll kill you! - Kid, you're first on my list!
Dad, watch out!
San Long, take care!
- I'll teach you, you old... - San Long!
Don't move!
- Dad... - Get off!
- Beg forgiveness! - I won't forgive. Come!
No! Hold it!
- San Long! - Dad, San Feng will be killed!
San Long! It's between me and him. Dad, I'll come.
Go!
You taught us to be righteous. San Feng will die and you...
- Have you finished? - You let Bao walk over you!
You're weak. You're pathetic...
Tai Feng waited years because you're gutless. Now, San Feng...
- Come home. - Dad.
I love Tai Feng, but I love you more.
- Dad can't sleep. - He has no company at night.
- So sad. - So sad.
- No-one sleeps with me. - Don't be an idiot.
You idiot.
Dad's birthday is in 2 days. Let's have a surprise party!
Let's make it good.
Fine, fine. What's good?
A man his age needs good food.
Yes, his hair fell out.
- It's because of us. - Yeah.
We'll have a feast, right, with snake, wild cat and chicken!
Good.
- I'll catch wild cats. - We'll get wild chicken!
- And me? - Snakes, of course.
I hate snakes!
You! I can't wait longer! When do we take action?
- Without a woman soon, I'll explode! - Sure.
- We must be patient. - We can't stand it!
Boss, I know Bao well.
If we abduct Bao's boy, Shaolin kids will all die!
Fish!
Snake!
It hurts.
- It bit me. I'm dying. - Stop crying.
- Come on. - I can't.
- Five paces and I'm dead! - Come on!
- Save me! - Go! - Save me!
- You moved ten paces. - I'm still alive!
It's a water-snake, silly. It has no poison.
You're so clever!
He looks so strange.
- Who is he? - He's an Indian snake charmer.
Is he?
Why's he going to the cave?
His sack might have snakes! Come on!
It's moving...
Bao's kid?
You're dead!
San Long bro, come quickly!
Brother!
Yi Long, come quickly! Hurry.
Hurry, take him.
You had your brother's care yet went to the toilet!
- Do I need a timetable to pee? - You, why you...
- I couldn't wait. - I should strangle you!
- What did we do to deserve this? - Leave me be!
No! Rewrite it. Not just 10 cows.
Offer land and daughters for my son's return.
Master, why's Buddha punish me?
Your son's fate is menaced by evil people.
- Who'd dare that? - Old Master!
- Young Master is home. - Young Master is home.
Baby boy!
Son! Baby boy.
Baby boy!
Eh? Why do have my son?
- The kidnapper was in the cave. We saved the baby. - We did.
How fortunate. Say what reward you want.
Helping the needy is the duty of Shaolin monks.
- Fine. You want nothing? - Eh? - Yes, we do!
- It's our chance. Look. - "Reward of cows, land, gold, girls."
Dad has been so lonely. And Uncle Yi...
Sure. Take it.
As you insist. Keep the cows and gold. We want Tai Feng and Yi Feng.
- And... - And? What else!
- And Wudang sword skills! - Hm! You're dreaming!
- As I thought, dirty tricks. - You!
You dare trick me!
Sir, you let them stay and they repaid you with evil.
So it's you.
Quit it! Begone!
Kick them out or Buddha will be mad.
Out! Tell your dad to leave my land and never be seen again.
- We'll go forever. C'mon! - Come on.
Happy journey.
Cross-eyes, don't think you're smart.
- Sister, they're leaving. - Yi Feng's going.
Let's have fun with Bao's daughters!
Then we'll handle those Shaolin kids!
Hurry back inside!
Once we kill the old man, all this is ours. Kill!
Ah Bao, help Tai Feng!
Ah Bao!
Ma...
Dad!
Ah Bao, be careful!
Aiya! Ah Bao!
Go now!
Ah Bao, I'm going.
Agh! Ah Bao!
Ah Bao, careful!
Ah Bao! Careful!
Ah Bao!
Ah Bao, take care!
Ah Bao...
- Chain-mail armour... - A surprise for you!
- How do you know Wudang sword? - Don't you recognise me?
So it's you!
Wudang Sword is mighty, but you're old.
Why are you back?
Shaolin and Wudang work together against scum!
Pretty! You'll be my concubine.
- You! - I hoped you'd changed
but you're still evil.
Watch out!
Big Bro, take care of Big Sis. This bastard's mine!
- He's got an iron neck! - Never mind. Watch this!
Bring it on!
We've got him!
San Long!
"Moon in the sea"!
Throw him in! 1, 2, 3...
- San Long, we... - Eh? What? - We won the battle!
Tian Long, you saved my family. How can I repay you? I...
Uncle.
- Let Dad marry Tai Feng. - Don't forget Uncle!
Well, just give me the four cows.
Hurray! Dad has a wife, we have a mama!
Your adopted sons will make wonderful husbands one day!
Auntie. We have no more cows.
- How about an egg for each girl? - It's a deal!
Husband and wife, bow.
Bow to Mother and Father.
Dad, Ma, accept your sons' respect.
First bow.
- Second bow. - Good.
- Third bow. - Go on, go on.
- It's a happy day. Let them laugh. - Go on, go on.